Relax" as I understand it !

As I approach the end of the first day of this New Year, I am being reminded of something that I have always suggested to people. To relax, to take it easy, to just chill about things. It indeed is an irony. Though, it is not surprising, for those who know me, might be aware that worrying comes naturally to me. I do take things to my heart, I do feel bad when things don’t go my way, I do expect. And all I am able to do is hang on to the hope, that someday either someone would come would be able to live up to my expectations or I will let go of them. This hope in itself is about losing all hope. Not that I don’t understand how things work, how people are, how it all boils down to your own self, how it is me who needs to manage my feelings and not wait for anyone else to come save me from this agony of an inconsistent wait. I call it inconsistent as it does not go with the way I lead my life. I am usually very chirpy, always looking for a way to smile or a put a smile on someone else’s face. At least I try to feel that way, because that’s the only way to teach yourself to be happy. In this world where we cease to look at the brighter side and chose to look at what all is wrong, where we seek more reasons to fight than to thank anyone and really feel it. There is no more truth than what you believe it is, so there is no more happiness than you allow yourself. The more love you allow to seep into the pores that you mind lets open, the more chances are that you will be exposed to the joy of the world. But at the same time you are exposing yourself to an opportunity to get hurt pretty bad. As I began writing this little piece, I was yearning to vent out my fears, the pain of waiting. I was ready to implore to my inner conscience to leave its idiosyncratic self destructive ways and to smile yet again. And here I am, one who writes long essays and poems in fifteen minutes, writing these 3 paragraphs from the past 2 hours. As I myself don’t know what all can I express, what all can I write, without hurting those who are reading this. As it is, I am blessed with a plethora of friends, who care about me, who wish well for me, who are still waiting for that one phone call through which I will once again share, my love, my care, my pains, my tears, my joy of having them in my life. I thank the almighty to have given me more than just one opportunity to endure the best times. And yet, I abet myself to be engrossed in the very things that belittle the very attempts to pacify my mind. As the year begins, all I want to do is relax without associating any price to it. Love One Love All Mohit Chopra 1 Jan 2012