Oh yeah, I am lonely

I have been there,

An ear to some,

One to care,

At times just to shun,

I may not be the first you came to,

But I never showed you my back,

Maybe you were lost in the blue,

And I didn’t show you the right track,

But I believe I gave you comfort,

I believe I made a little difference,

I tried to understand why you were hurt,

I tried not to make you tense,

Whenever you spoke of those who broke your heart,

I remembered those who broke mine,

I knew I would be overlooked from the start,

But I still gave you my time,

Maybe you felt good,

Maybe you didn’t,

Maybe I changed your mood,

Maybe I just couldn’t,

But did I ever ask,

How come you thought of me?

Before me, where did you bask,

Before me, who did you see?

I did feel connected to you,

I did feel we were together,

But I guess I was just a sink to you,

Just as you felt better,

Oh yes, I did hear from you,

At times when you were down and out,

And then you were gone before I knew,

And I had lost another bout,

It wasn’t just one of you,

Yep, there’s a myriad of yous,

Guess I didn’t have a clue,

That I was just your muse,

Who allowed you to imagine,

Who heard your inane thoughts,

Who alleviated your pain,

Gave you high like a few tequila shots,

One thing I would agree to,

I spoke of my life too,

But then do you anymore have a clue,

How difficult it is for me too,

And I am lonely now,

I guess I am more than that,

I just don’t know how,

And when I stopped being the careless brat,

I don’t know when I first happened,

The first time I shed a tear,

First time my heart saddened,

First time I admitted to my fear,

And I can’t recall it,

And no one else could either,

Coz’ I alone know that bit,

And my memories too whether,

It would all be erased,

Coz I shared it with none,

My pain wouldn’t be embraced,

And to your eyes there would be none,

I admit to it now,

I was wrong,

And I know how,

And the feeling is growing strong,

I should have let someone in,

And now I just am too closed,

I feel as if I have committed a sin,

And I dislike it the most,

Oh yeah, I am lonely,

As lonely as it gets,

My days are no more sunny,

My heart always frets,

I wish I too had someone,

Who offered me a soft shoulder,

Not make me a tool for pun,

And kick me like a boulder,

Oh yeah, I am lonely,

As lonely as it gets,

I smile, but it’s no more funny,

Like I am paying for my past life debts,

Oh yeah, I am lonely,

As lonely as it gets,

Oh yeah, someone else too is lonely,

All the tears my eye sheds,

Oh, yeah I am lonely,

As lonely as it gets…

Love One Love All

Mohit Chopra

1.10.2010

Own It...

As I was sitting in one of the sessions my boss was taking on leadership and motivation, my mind tumbled upon a few thoughts and after a very long time my pen yielded a few words on my perspective about life and how we live it in these demanding times, and how I believe we should live it. Seldom have we planned to succeed, most of the time we are busy thinking of scenarios we will fail in. we keep trying to find out ways to avoid those situation, rarely do we look t finding solutions to those hindrances. If at all we accept the uncertainty and prepare ourselves with an open mind and owe the responsibility of getting a task done, then we wouldn’t be deterred by any challenge. One of the weasy way to get out of such situations is to find loopholes in what depends on others, but the success isn’t met by walking on the easier path. You need to recognize the fact that trying to control scenarios and drive outcome would lead you to a path of uncertainty, instead if you try to control your own actions, thoughts and how you plan to drive yourself through times, then you would increase the probability of achieving the desired outcomes. You should work on expanding your sphere of influence, when you have the gift of influencing others, you don’t need to control them.

The only thing that we tend to get consistent with is digressing. Often it is taken as negative characteristics, but I ensure that I digress from my chain of thoughts so that I can explore even more ideas. But I try not to forget that I still need to control when I digress. It’s important to time your thoughts in a manner that you don’t lose your concentration on important things. After all we need to be aware enough to apply our views to situation and that will only happen when you have a rational and open minded approach to things. Challenge your mind to digress so that it is sound enough to challenge others minds as well. The strategy should be to be intelligent enough not to blindly questions others just for the sake of it but to analyze their point of view and understand it in a what to align it to the goals you have for yourself or collectively for the group. People say that trying alone is not enough, you need to perform but I suggest that trying isn’t that bad either to start with. Not get bogged down by the pressure of performance, try it out and see if you even intend to perform and in case you don’t, make it clear. You may suffer a bit, but that would solely depend on your choice of right and wrong and what you deem as valid for yourself.

At times it may happen that people would ask you to share your point of view and when you do so, they will try to convince you with theirs, It is your choice to accept their thoughts or make them understand yours, the key is to be assertive and not adamantly try to beat them down to agreeing your views. They eventually may agree to your stand but it is up to you to drive them to that stage. Through experience I have learnt or rather agreed to an adage “Silence in Golden”. It is in the best interest of the team to speak up and share your experiences but you need to be careful to assess if you are in a position to do so, to be confident about the fact that others are open to your thoughts and you yourself are not defensive towards those who challenge your thoughts.

A problem I face is that I am constantly thinking when someone else is sharing his thoughts, probably this is how I became addictive to my own opinions but I am surprised to see that I still have enough bandwidth to absorb what other have to say and try to align it to my views. I may accept or challenge them but I am glad enough to receive those views as they propel mine, they feed and provide manure to my stream of thoughts. We often ask others to speak up, promising not to be judgmental but we tend to fail to stick to our commitments. Be practical, assess the weight of what people say as most of the time you may encounter lost minds that merely tend to say something and do something else. I am not saying that everybody you come across will be opinionated, but you need to be careful to pick those who have a frank and honest opinion. I reiterate, don’t let this particular thought deter you when you approach any situation. The point is to be rational.

If given a chance to do something again, I am sure many of you would chose to do it differently in a different frame of time, the questions I why? The answer is simple, because you have thought of it a thousand times and come to an explanation why it didn’t work out the way you desired the first time itself. Maybe you do get a chance to do it again, hopefully you will succeed but what if you fail, would you find another explanation for your failure, if the answer is yes, then you need to do a bit of self analysis. Is it really worth to look for an excuse if we would still be looking for even more excuses? It’s good to analyze your mistakes and not to repeat them but it’s not worth it looking an excuse for your failure. If its tough for you it can be tough for others too. The challenge and oppurtunity is to Own it!

Mohit Chopra
mohitchopra1@gmail.com
7th Dec 2009

words that prevented me from shedding a few drops of saline water...

mere aansuon ne mujse puchna chod diya,

ke ab tum rote kyu nahi ho,

ke maine intezaar unhe itna diya,

ke bhool gaye vo mujhi ko,

dard ke paigaam mil jaate hai roz,

aur hum fir rusva ho jaate hai,

ke raaste khud b khud mud jaate hai roz,

aur hum tanha safar me reh jaate hai,

sekdon baar khud ko roka hai,

wahi galtiyan dohrane se,

samjhaya khud ko ke vo to ek dhokha hai,

dhundla ho jaayega paas jaane se,

par insaan bhi to yun nakara hun main,

ke us dhundli tasveer ko khojta hun,

dar dar firta maara maara hun main,

aur kuch aur khud se dur ho jaata hun,

muskurata hua chehra liye,

ek boond aansun bahata hun,

ke khwab hai ye jiske liye,

usko hi nahi bata paata hun...

Love One Love All...

Mohit Chopra

10 Dec 09

11:55 pm to 12:01 am Central Time

Random thots of u...

You often tell me,
How well I play with words,
You let your mind free,
And with it my heart flirts,

You ask me how my day was,
You let me know about yours,
And then there’s an inadvertent pause,
As we encounter some closed doors,

A few questions left unanswered,
A few doubts in the mind,
You feel as if I never bothered,
And I just turned blind,

To the idiosyncratic ways,
With the way I live my life,
Looking for a few bright rays,
Overcoming the strife,

I have troubled you a lot,
A bit possessive I may have been,
Tensions were brought,
When we ventured on paths unseen,

But relished holding your hand,
And at times you in my arms,
But you slipped out like sand,
Without the slightest of alarms,

Still we lingered,
As I hoped for us,
Though I never figured,
If there was a way for us,

I still remember how beautiful it was,
The time when we begun,
We never looked for a cause,
There was no task to be done,

The pristine self was so simple,
Not a glimpse of trouble,
Each smile carried a dimple,
Always pulling me out of the rubble,

For the first time I gave up,
On life being just about myself
For I was too deep in love,
And I was looking for your help,

People tell me,
No matter what happens,
There would be good times to see,
Even though life saddens,

You just need to stick on,
And love as much you can,
As light comes with dawn,
Life will help you with your plan,

But I chose to give up,
As it was too much to take,
As I felt I was stuck,
And there was too much at stake,

I don’t repent,
Neither do I regret,
But sometimes I miss your scent,
And the way you fret,

Maybe I was too close to you,
And you never reached that stage,
I wont lie I do miss you,
But I have lost the rage,

May you do well,
And I come over things,
And have another story to tell,
And songs that my life sings…

Love One Love All

Mohit Chopra
24th Oct 2009
11:05- 11:25 pm

Darkhwast hai is raat se

darkhwast hai is raat se,
khamosh kar de mere khayalon ko bhi,
ke chain nahi mila hai in ankhon ko kab se,
udhaar de de kuch neend inhe bhi,

ke ojhal ho jaaye uske khayal chupke se,
pata na chale mujhe bhi,
aur main fir ja milun zindagi se,
na jagaun is raat ko bhi...

Ke ab main...

ke ab main aatish ki tarah hun,
ke ab main dil me lagi jalan ki tarah hun,
ke ab main baarish ki tarah hun,
ke ab main dil pe lage marham ki tarah hun,

ke ab main ek aansu ki tarah hun,
ke ab main mazboot kaandhe ki tarah hun,
ke ab main mehkti sason ki tarah hun,
ke ab main sab hun par khud nahi hun...

Kisi ki chahat hai...

Kisi ki chahat hai,
Ya khud ko hi dhund raha hun main,
Ye nahi mohbbat hai,
Ke bas ek dost dhund raha hun main,

Jise keh sukun,
Kya dil me hai,
Jis se puch sakun,
Har baat main,

Ke chod diya saath unka,
Jo the mere saath,
Ab karta hun intezaar kiska,
Failaye apne haath,

In viraani galiyon ko,
Khud hi to maanga tha maine,
Zehan sochta hai kisko,
Gam ka cholla pehne,

Ke baat nahi koi karne ko,
Jayaz bhi nahi ab koi guftagu,
Ke gumraah sa ho gaya hun ab to,
Kho gayi hai meri rooh,

Kis mugaltim me jita hun,
Ke sab nahi hai mere bas me,
Kyu nahi samjhta hun,
Ke nahi nibhayi jaati hai sab kasme,

Kuch to baat hai mujme,
Jise main nazarandaaz kar deta hun,
Dhundta hun main chain tujme,
Aur apne hi noor ko andekha karta hun,

Par fir bhi zarurat to hai,
Kisi ajnabee ki,
Ke adhuri meri kahani hai,
Mukamal nahi zindagi,

Ke dua ab to bas hai yahi,
Ke mila de ye hawaaein tujhse,
Dur na ho jaun tujhse kahi,
Ke chup na ab tu mujse,

Mil ja mujhe, Mil ja o ajnabee, Mil ja...

LOVE ONE LOVE ALL
MOHIT CHOPRA
29 April 2009